I've been waiting for this moment - Christmas break. I couldn't express how
happy I am to have this two week break from all of those school stuff. Actually, it feels like it is summer or semestral break already. Unfortunately, it is not. We just had our prelims then midterms and finals in the next few months. Prelims has totally drained me physically and emotionally. I've been through a lot. Oh, not really. I guess. It's just that my degree program is getting harder. I promised myself that I'll get through this with flying colors. No matter how much I wanted to have a deep slumber since I already have the chance, but I can't. My body clock is so messed up because of my prelims schedule. I think I had only two to three hours of sleep for consecutive nights. My mood is swinging for the few days and I think this is just an effect. Sleep deprived it is.
My favourite place to be is my bed. It is where I feel warmth when I have none and where I can cry when I'm alone. It is where I rest my tired head and it is where I go when I go to avoid the world .
Not even fresh ground coffee from the hills of Columbia could make me a morning person.
I am a complex organism that feeds off from adventure and learning.
My friend Kuya Reinier shared to me about a blog of this one awesome and cool blogger, Sade. She is a published writer and a surfer. I was browsing through her blog and her posts strike me. TBH, I could relate to most of her posts. Finally found someone who feels the same way as I do. Well, not really exactly but almost! I could say I have so many thoughts running through my head. It's just that I can't and I don't know how I could put them together into words. That's one thing I love about Sade. Her words are powerful and striking.
I.
I ache for you.
It's three in the morning,
and I'm grasping for an excuse
not to call you.
I used to be fearless.
I used to be invincible.
But now my fingers are fumbling for
the empty space
of your outline on my bed sheets.
I'm sitting here
trying to convince myself
that I don't want you- but the more I say it
the less I believe it.
I am starting to accept that you never loved me.
And it's sad because I don't think you see
how beautiful you are to me.
Your face was the light
that chased away the shadows,
every nightmare, every fear.
But you burned out and now
I'm learning to be afraid of the dark once again.
Check her posts on http://sadeandriazabala.com
Before I forget, it's four days more till Christmas! Happy holidays everyone! :)
♡ ♡ ♡
Sincerely,
Bethel xx
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